Thursday, November 26, 2015

All By Myself

So.  For all of you who responded via phone, text, email, message or by coming to my door...
thank you.  I sure know I'm loved.

It's the weirdest thing.  Here I am sitting in the Toronto Airport, it's 6:58 local time (that would be 3:58 on the coast)  I slept a bit on my last flight and now I'm just waiting to board a short flight to Ottawa.  I'll be visiting Scout and Biff, giving a retreat, going to a wedding and generally having a very nice time.  

Here's the kicker.  I'm alone.  As in, travelling with no other human beings that are the issue of my womb.  The day was bound to come.   Rosebud is nine now.  She got her ears pierced yesterday.  She's a regular human being now.  And I'm feeling pretty grown up, too.  Going to Ottawa by myself.  Who knew?

I miss them already.  

Friday, November 20, 2015

Dear people who read my blog,

I must say this.  You are remarkable people.  Week in and week out I talk myself out of writing anything because I don't really have anything valuable to say right now.  And the laundry has to come first.  But once in a while I flit about here, and, day in and day out, people (way more than I ever imagined) are reading my blog.

Old posts, I guess.  What?  Are you trying to get inside my head?  I say...don't bother.

It's all out on my sleeve, anyway.

Life is all about expectations.  I guess I only ever expected me to read my own blog.  If you set the bar low, you're probably going to reach your goals.

I'm having a pretty bad life right now.

Don't worry.  It's a season.  Besides, there's no point in all of us getting down about it.  Me is enough. 
I know that appears to be bad grammar, but in context, it isn't.  

And anyway, grammar isn't super high on my priority list right now.

Have you ever had a problem with feelings?  You know, they're THERE.  Lurking behind every benign comment that every person makes to you, and every single thought you have, there's this feeling that something is wrong and you are the most messed up person ever?

THOSE feelings.  And every time something goes awry in the universe, it probably has something to do with your own personal shortcomings?

I'm just chawin' --

love you guys...

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Revealing The Secret

Dear Readers.  

Today is my Mom and Dad's fifty-sixth wedding anniversary.  It's been a hard and beautiful day, thinking about that.  They had a marriage that we should all be striving for.  

My Dad never missed an anniversary, a birthday, a mother's day - without bringing my Mom flowers.  Or just a single flower.  It was his signature.  He loves her so very much.  Sometimes I wonder if that makes losing someone harder or easier, to love so much.  Even if it is harder, I think I would rather love that much.  

My mom was an awesome grandma.  She taught me what it meant to be a grandma.  Albert's mom, their Nan, is an awesome grandma.  I have had good mentors.  

And now I get to be one.  Mary and Francis are expecting a baby in the middle of May.  

And we will be grandparents.  

More than my poor heart can hold.  

An artistic rendition of the Landry kids and sons-in-law.  

Although this is the size of our new grandbaby, ours is much cuter.